Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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