Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize