what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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