Yo dont text me then not text me
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
