At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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