So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
