gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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