Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
