Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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