Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
