Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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