apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
