VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
ugly people sure do ruin things
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
