I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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