Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
