I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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