Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
