Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
