If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
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