Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
