i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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