peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
