Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
