There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
