And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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