dude i'm inner monologue high
there's paper in my vomit.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
