WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Your penis caused this!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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