I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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