Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
