who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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