i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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