Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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