Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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