you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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