Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
