I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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