he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
