he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
