She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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