So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
