Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize