Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
