they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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