I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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