can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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