It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
