I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
