4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
