Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
