Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Come see our sink grown plant.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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