no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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