Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
