I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
