if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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