Your tits are I can't wait for
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
