If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
