You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
