I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
