508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
