i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
