K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
