I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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