I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
