Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i think i have herpe
just one?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
